I'm staring at the previous post that I wrote way back in January, right before things happened:
If I really wanted to make my mark on the world I have to build something. If I really want to become the kind of software developer I always wanted to be I have to write more, both in terms of words and in terms of code. I really want to experience the builder's high, that great feeling of having added something to the world.
It turned out the universe had other plans for me.
Readify's Manila operations have been shut down since the end of January. Circumstances beyond our control had lead to a management decision to shift its strategy and forego foreign operations, deciding to focus its efforts in Australia. Despite this, I remain grateful for the opportunities they gave me, and remain friends with many of my former colleagues in their various Australian offices.
I then pursued freelance work opportunities, and this work, along with my current role leading the Philippine .NET Users Group, has occupied me since January. However, even before Readify Manila closed I had been working from home most of the time. I have been working home-based for half of the year now, and while I appreciate not having to wrestle with traffic and parking problems every day, I've been facing a challenge I have never encountered before:
I feel isolated. I feel alone.
I thought that these feelings would be made up for by the presence of my wife and children nearby, and mitigated by online conversations with my former peers. But what I have taken for granted is the ease of approaching people and striking a conversation or raising a question at the workplace.
I also came to appreciate more the value of a team -- a set of people who have different strengths and capabilities -- each one focusing on their own contribution to an overall effort. I have been in excellent teams in my stints in Readify and ITRS in the past four years, and this stretch of working alone made me appreciate those years all the more.
I had wanted to be able to build and write more, but working alone proved to be more harrowing and tiring than I have ever imagined. My recent experiences have given me a great opportunity to think and reflect to know myself better, and they answer a lot of question that I've had for myself before.
Now it's time to act on that new information.